Skuller.

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Sunday, November 9

Balloons.

They bring a sense of wonder and delight to many, yet, a fear of sudden outbursts of sound lingers whenever they are around.

****

A doting housewife kisses her husband at the doorstep after a long, tiring day at work, yet, she worries incessantly about whether those lips have touched anyone else's.

****

You get into your dad's car and lie back on it's familiar seats, smiling at the driver, yet, the doubt of whether he will be able to secure your well-being plays at the back of your mind.

****

I type out all of my thoughts and emotions indiscreetly on this blog, yet, this constant dubiety of hurting other people with my words plagues me, every single time.

Pop.

--wan.

Labels: why, you don't have to understand this

posted at 00:54

Thursday, October 2

Change.

Lately, I have been reading up on all of my old blog entries, the ones from my old blog. Then, I realized, that after comparing them to the entries put into this new one, I felt mad. At myself. Because what I saw, were two completely different authors.

I don't know whether if it's the format of writing, the way I retell my experiences or it's just that I've probably changed as a person.

I pray that it is not the latter.

Because, you can really tell a huge difference between the personalities that wrote, well, blog entry entitled 'Metronome', February 13, and well, any of the more recent entries put into this new blog.

To me, that unseen value, a very deep and unexplainable thing, seems to be lost. This made all of my recent entries seem empty, soul-less, and a little bit immature and in your face.

Trust me, were all no Perez Hiltons or Xiaoxiaos (okay, whatever her name is). I just want to blog about my life, my experiences, me. Though it never hurts to add in a bit of other interesting miscellaneous info, though that should be done in way that relates it back to our thoughts and perceptions. Sighs. I definitely can't seem to shrug off the fact that I love my old blog much, much more than this one. Sure, theres no music, the skin or whatever you call it is lame, and etcetra, but that blog was me.

Sure, you can just tell me to 'write all of that stuff in a journal', but isn't a blog supposed to be an online journal? The final verdict is, yes, we all try too hard to impress others. I mean, who cares if you wrote a scathing review about a reality TV show in your private diary? It's the pressure of people reading your posts that make us do such stuff. Though I'm not putting down people who do this (there's a reason why celebrity bloggers are 'celebrities'), I find it way more interesting and meaningful to write about stuff that you've actually experienced and seen with your own two eyes, your thoughts, and your feelings.

Thus, I've made a pact with myself. From now on, no more preppy entries. In-your-face me is gone (I hope). Now, let's blog about the simple yet more compelling events that happen everyday, what really matters.

I do hope that part of me is still around, somewhere.

--wan.

Labels: my world, perceptions, why

posted at 14:11

Thursday, September 25

Pins, needles & blades.

Gosh, my list of things that I dislike seem to be steadily getting longer. I wonder why.

--wan.

Labels: why

posted at 22:02