Skuller.

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Saturday, April 10

Come what may.

How do I manage to manage life. Sometimes, I wonder. This whole past week felt like an utterly mundane kiddy-ride that would just never end. Work started out with a muzzled burst. I swear if I have to hear another single word my boss has to say, i'd probably die. On to a chipper note, I guess it gives me time to reflect upon my sad countenance of lies; it is official. Design is one big, stinky, superficially retarded entity of human nature. It must be vanquished.

Yup, I think i've seen more than a lifetime's worth of supernatural TV shows. Cry myself a river, but I swear I need to find more meaningful pleasures in life, lest I die a crazed lonely hermit. Enough talk of hermits.

Now, I need to come up with a better plan in life. It's high time I think about the future. Whatever that means. Just an ounce of abstruse optimism is what I need. The rest goes a long way. I'm no fool. If I want to be happy in life, I need to weigh out all the things that have been pulling me down. And that has happened a lot in 2010. Yes. Happiness, I daresay, is short-lived. I don't trust myself, and I'd like to keep it that way.

Kay, woah. I need to lay off them Coronas. Heres an intervention alert. People on IM are going way overboard now, in a good way. Gonna have to complete part II of this weeks update tomorrow.

--hazwan.

Labels: my world, once a week updates, rants

posted at 23:16

Monday, May 4

Code.

Disclaimer: Don't bother reading if you're dumb, straight up.

Okay, so today went by in a flash. It wasn't as difficult as I thought, dealing with so and so. Sighs. It's great when things like schoolwork and people get to you; all talk of sad simplistic notions and the usual soul-less design concepts, they all seem so frivolous to some, although most people are just too mundanely self-absorbed in their own thoughts to acknowledge so. Of course, just call something incomprehensible stupid or weird, it's too easy, I don't blame them. Oh listen to me rant.

Studio Project lecturer Miss Ong was one tough nut to crack. Give me more, more, more. I am a little puzzled with her design methodology, it's too long winded, even by my standards. We both are apparently two very different people. Too generic? Me? Laughs, you have no idea how 'simple' I can be, Miss. Nice woman, quite brilliant. Heck, who am I, the naive design sophomore, to judge a wizened artist? Haha, where's Subrina when you need her? Tsks. Can't wait to be at loggerheads with her in the near future; though, I have a new plan.

And God, how I love words. Even when I can't hear or understand them, they unconsciously affect me. When you talk, I know. I always know, there's nothing to hide. Heck, it is fun to see people blissfully unaware of my awareness of a said something, but can they at least try to do a better job of concealing? Say discreetness, that can be improved. I read facial expressions well. Your body is a book to me. Definitely. Sorry that I know too much, but live with it. Professor X, step aside.

And finally, to those that care, I am not insane. Depends. If you call someone unafraid of expressing himself intellectually in a profound way weird, then curtain falls, you win. I am a nutcase. But take heart in what you find right and what you find wrong. Place yourself in my tangled shoes. And question yourself. Have I ever been wrong when it is permitted to be? You know what I mean.

Some Japanese food for thought. Hmm, tangy. Goodnight, smart people.

--wan.

Labels: random, rants, school

posted at 22:00

Wednesday, April 8

Woes.

I must be the most evil person in the world.

Oh God this weekend is going to be hell.

Damn it I can't come for barbeque.

I need my allowance! But I don't want to ask for it.

I seriously need to get into character for that SBM play.

I need a wannabe hunk cum poetic romeo to inspire me (boy that sounds wrong).

Should I tell Dad OH damn he'll be so disappointed.

So many problems...argh.

--wan.

Labels: rants

posted at 23:18

Friday, January 9

Just like a pill.

This is like, Delirium, Part 3 or something. I thought I was feeling much better yesterday evening (after Tri's visit) that I thought, okay, probably I could make it for Friday's (today's) play, if not, give them a bit of support, and then probably make it for Design History in the evening. But the virus, apparently, is evil.

Every night, i'd wake up with a raging fever. It's so bad, I keep hearing voices in my head (perculiarly, they sound like Jack Sparrow's). Now, don't get me started on the muscle cramps. I practically feel like tearing off my limbs and burning my joints, it's ridiculous. And the worst thing is, everytime I get geared up to eat something I like, i'd get nauseous (I almost threw up Tri's chicken soup, it wasn't a pretty sight). This is simply inhumane torture (aah, don't judge).

Putri, you really are a piece of work. I owe you so much for yesterday, and please, leave me to my misery, the last thing I wanna' do is pass the virus to you and the rest. Thank you.

And of course, I feel really bad for not being able to perform (even once) for the open house thing. Ilham, thanks so much for replacing me. God knows how it'll be if I did perform; i'd probably sneeze out a handful of snot at Amalina or something in the middle of the scene and everyone'll laugh (though it wouldn't be that bad cos' it's a comedy).

I shudder to think how much work i've missed out. So let's not even go there.

Now, if my temperature goes up beyond 39 degrees again, i'll have to take another platelet test. Like I need another jab mark (plus the elbow cramps that follow). I hope i'll be fine by Monday.

Heck, no pain no gain I guess.

p.s. I had to do a spellcheck like thrice to see if everything made sense.

--wan.

Labels: rants, sick

posted at 22:18

Saturday, November 22

Me against the world and nothing else in particular.

Why am I having IMPMS (imaginary male post menstrual syndrome) now. Why oh why. So many different things jumbled up in my brain, its hard to decode what exactly is making me feel all stressed out.

First the emo me during that one halloween nite rehearsal and now this, heck, I don't want this to build up. This year has screwed me up. 6 months ago, I would've looked at myself now and have probably said: what a lame excuse to be so emo, grow up kid.

Haz and Ama, thanks for all the prescriptions (they are highly trained professionals, don't mess).

As for me, i'll try to keep my rants short. I want the old me back. Don't you?

--wan.

Labels: rants, you don't have to understand this

posted at 01:28