Skuller.

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Wednesday, September 30

Adieu September.

Time moves in a curve. For sure. (I'm no astrophysics whiz, but you don't have to take my word for it *scoffs*). If my mind were (note the use of plural form, for I have multiple minds) a supermassive black hole, then I pray that the galaxies and constellations of memories i've sucked up in life won't collapse upon me. Amen. Watch 'The Universe' on The History Channel for maximum information absorbance.

Back from Dad's, I am. We had a great time catching up. Watched 'Knowing' on Blu-Ray {insert your e.t. sound effect here}. Nicolas Cage does sci-fi pretty well. Last half hour of the movie was disappointing though. Oh yeah. Dad knows how to make cheese sauce. Nachos cheese sauce. It's one of his many hidden talents, but sad to say, there weren't any nachos around, so we had them with salted popcorn (microwave style) instead. Yeah, were losers.

This week is all about the outings. Dinner at Sam's, visits to random relatives (who give me cash for no reason), Eid outing with the SDN peeps and probably a dramanite dinner. I'm off to buy new pants in larger sizes...NOT. Haha, I don't gain weight easily, and I love rubbing it in. Smirks aside, I hope this extended h------r ends soon. You heard nothing. *Smirks*

--wan.

Labels: back home from going off somewhere, father, movies, random

posted at 00:00

Monday, February 16

Home.

So I arrived home from Dad's at around 9 in the morning today. It was great seeing the old man again (he's really quite young) and as usual I had a lot of catching up fun.

It was pretty hazy around parts of town today, and the humidity has risen to choking levels once more. The first thing I did when I got home was take out the chicken breast from the freezer. Watched the telly for a bit (Kyle XY was on) before dozing off for awhile. In the end, I didn't know what to cook, so I just grilled the chicken with some allspice and had them with pita bread and rocket greens. Thank you mom for secretly restocking the fridge.

At around 5 in the evening today, Denni called to ask for some 'study tips'. Now, I know that some of my friends out there are still cramming for their exams like nobody's business. Tough break, guys. (Just know, rote learning isn't very useful when you have a lot of subject matter, so unless you have the mind capacity of Mojo Jojo, don't cram/'mug') I really am thankful that I am done with school.

Take it easy, or you'll just end up like this poor madame.

--wan.

Labels: back home from going off somewhere, father, food, my world

posted at 23:59

Friday, December 12

Tangled.

My life is in shambles right now. There are things happening to me that I do not want to talk about so just pretend everything is alright and I won't have to lie.

I just wasted 5 hours of my life (during which I could've seen the completion of Mr Ng's final assignment as well as that pop-up card) waiting for my mom to come home from some meeting. Thankfully I had something to keep me occupied; my pencils and sketchbook. One of the more memorable daydreams I had was the thought of myself lying on a pillow in the middle of a bridge, with this violinist entertaining me with some melodramatic tune. It made me think quite far, perplexing as it sounds.

Dad accompanied me while I was sketching the pillows. It has been more than a month since I last heard his voice, and well, just cut out all of the stuff that has been happening lately and all that, and I can tell you that I really miss him. I really had no time in my life to just give him a simple call, to ask how he's been, whats been going on on. Imagine what it might have sounded like to him, "I couldn't reply to your messages these few days cos' I didn't pay my bill." Oh God. I also felt kinda' guilty when I asked him how he was, hearing him reply "finally you asked" in a mock-casual sorta' laugh. He has been very patient with life too as of late, what with financial concerns (to say the least) as well as that recent knee operation to recover from (I was aghast after finding out he had to even absent himself for 3 whole weeks just to attend physiotherapy sessions), I really wish his walk will get back to normal soon.

He understands why I have been so busy lately, and that is what hurts me the most though.

Right now everything and everything about school is making me feel uncomfortable. I have not slept in 48hours, but I plan to do so soon. I am just going to have to tell Mr. Ng what needs to be told. After Friday, trust me, I will be a much happier man, in more ways than one. I need time to get myself in check.

There are worse things in life.

p.s. when I yawn because im sleepy I tend to tear a lot, so its not me crying, period.

--wan.

Labels: father, problems with sleep, school

posted at 00:22

Sunday, December 7

Crossroads.

questions_____answers.

Doubt.

Never ending doubt.

Turning into an incessant beat. . . . .

Thumping against the barrier of sense.. .. .. .. ..

Bruising the mind.. .... ..... ... ... .. .. .

Hurting the soul. . ... . .. .

Till what's left is none

(I sort of scribbled this quickie down during last Tuesday's assessment, it was purely a mind-to-pen thing...)

Countless times i've pondered upon the concept of amorality, and whether or not to adhere to such a concept. In life, decisions are backed by sturdy beliefs and morals. But, what if everything needed to back that decision up becomes void? What happens when ethics fail to create a secure foundation to base our decisions upon?

Maybe, just maybe, i'll figure it out. Soon enough.

As for now, i'll remain terrified of flying saucer-shaped buildings.

--wan.

Labels: father, mother, you don't have to understand this

posted at 23:47

Wednesday, October 29

Sorry.

When words fail, the pen takes over. Or in this case, the keyboard does...

Wow. First and foremost, I would like to apologize to all of my stage arters for being such a fcuktard tonight. I definitely was, so don't console me on that (haha). Okay. Statement 1. It's peculiar how the human brain works, how my brain works. Well, I for one hate the fact that some of my emotions just seem to be locked up, for good. It makes me feel weak, being unable to feel, unable to cry. At one point in my life, I started to welcome this bizzare anomaly as a blessing; ignorance is bliss, as you may like it. But I just realised, only today, that sometimes, ignorance is just bliss in disguise.

Statement 2. It is also wonderfully intruiging how God carries out his plans. For today, I had experienced something so undescribably (insert unknown adjective here), to the point where it affected me so, so very deeply, till even Suma and her infectious laughter failed to make me laugh (I know, freaky). To that person who had a hand in helping me through such a revealing moment, I really can't thank you more. It is definitely a blessing in diguise. Speaking of which, a mask. Never hide behind one - ever. Because, what I just realised, false facades might offer temporary relief, but what hides underneath is what really matters.

I love my mother, and my father, equally. More than ever, and I never ever want to compromise my love for them by looking into the past. What matters is, the future is standing right in front of me. That is all I can say.

Now, finally, something lighthearted. The ability to laugh, is definitely what I love about people. The usual bus people. You all rock, as in roccck. Who knew the source of new joy can come, so easily somewhat, from maple eyes (hahaha). If not for you guys and your smiles, I would be worse than that guy in the MCR music video. Hahahaha. I laughed a bit too much at that.

Okay, so, as I end off, I apologize. I hope I don't sound too clingy and gross. I wish everyone good luck for Friday night. I want to remember. I want to feel. I want to do.

--wan.

Labels: drama, father, mother, pain, revelations

posted at 23:47

Saturday, October 18

New leaf.

Okay. So much has happened it's crazy to leave out all the important bits. Basically, yeah, with the new school semester, comes the same old brand-new changes to life, once again.

I crashed at Dad's apartment right before school started. It was great seeing him again for the first time in a long while. I miss all the phoned dinners, the hi-fi, and everything else associated with Dad. Monday was the first time I went to school from Dad's (and yeah, the NS-MRT line is indeed longer, so congratulations, whoever that person was who debated with me me on this topic, =).

School is....well, read the previous post.

Drama is in full swing as well. There's been rehearsals every evening now. I really like our Halloween night play. Yes, it is challenging, and yes, it takes time, but its something I like, and something I want to put my effort in. Our play is awesome. It is very vampirey, and of course, I like vampirey stuff (except for pontianaks, oh god im alone now).

Yes, I am alone. At home. I guess I don't have to explain why, it's always that way with me, huh? So anyways...

Busy me is something that I like. When I have an agenda, I get into full gear. That's why I look forward to coming to school and drama everyday. Though I miss my old lazy self (it's still there I tell you), this new leaf is definitely greener than the ones on the other side.

Uhmmm, don't ask. Back to Friday...

Today was straightforward. Showed up late for the Studio Project project meeting (though not because of what you think). Had Design History at 3, 'twas funny how we chose our groups, haha. Went to Art Friend Takashimaya with VCers. Stocked up on the usual supplies, and new stuff we needed for the new projects. Ate with LR and Haz (for awhile) at KFC, because I hadn't had a bite in one whole day, then after that went visiting, the usual.

Drama later at 9, we gotta' squeeze everything in (rehearsals, fight scenes) before Anjana sees our final full run-through. I pray I wake up on time.

And I do hope people out there continue to stay nice (if not look nice) and hold on, cos' it'll make the world a better place. Okay, whats a --wan post without a mention of something food-related at the end?

I am hungry, and later I am goin to cook something big. There it is. Ciao!

--wan.

Labels: father, my world, random

posted at 00:58

Tuesday, August 26

<< Back from Dad's >>

Whoo. Just got back from Dad's. I had fun hanging out with him again, and I really miss the times we had as a family. Didn't do much at his place, just good old bonding time and music appreciation (he got new toys for his hi-fi room!). Met the other gramps on Sunday for lunch. I miss Sobo a lot. She is the only one encouraging me to keep my hair long. HAHA. Sobo you are one cool granny. Grandpa was looking as strong as ever. It really is good to them again after a long time.

Tomorrow is moms birthday. Maybe I'll do something special. Well Im staying with her from now on so things should be fine.

I can't believe I forgot to call Ina before her exam started. She did call but knowing what a ditzy person I was, I couldn't answer her call because my phone was dead cos I didn't bring my phone charger to dads place. Extremely sorry about that. But I just called her, and she said everything turned out fine. Haha, I think she'll do fantastically. Thats my Sabrina.

Anyway, I gotta go unpack my stuff now. I am craving for lasagne now. Anyone care for a treat?

p.s. regarding my previous post, no, i did not get sore eyes or other shock-related illnesses the next morning, and to clarify what happened, its just this: my two seemingly normal twin cousins just kissed and gropped each other a bit in front of the webcam to show their love for each other. Happens all the time actually, this time was a bit too wet, thats all. HAHAHAHA.

--wan.

Labels: back home from going off somewhere, father

posted at 22:20